The Expiry Date

It is becoming apparent that even though the pressure is still there from the Pakistani community, slowly but surely opinions are changing and families are more open to love marriages, they are more bothered about their children getting an education than getting married. Education is the excuse to not be married, and to get independence before you get married, just like Aleena. The freedom is given to these young Pakistanis however, they are still are ingrained with the concept that for independence as a male of female means you must be married and living with someone for your adult life, you cannot live alone. The idea of a soulmate is strongly advertised for a ‘safer future’’. “My mum would never be convinced into letting me move out without being married, Moving away for education is an excuse” Aleena 24. The underlying pressure from the Pakistani culture is that parents want their son and daughters to find a companion and to be happy, many of these Pakistani men and women feel like they owe their parents and that’s why they want the right person. A few interviewees said they must show their responsibility and independence to get an acceptance “I will tell my parents about a girl I like when I have a job/ part time placement then it shows I am responsible, my parents then think I’m independent, put it on an independent perspective and then will see  that I am more mature” Abdul 21.

Leading on from research it has shown that the religious beliefs within Islam and the cultural heritage in Pakistan oppose with the opinions on marriage, somehow they have managed to separate which causes allot of confusion for young Pakistanis. “Some parents are still no to love marriage because they think it is in religion, they have this mindset because they haven’t read up on Islam” Abdul 21. Since Pakistan became independent  on the 14th of August 1947, education has been the focus, which is why Pakistani families are slowly but surely learning more about Islam through education and being open to love marriages. Back in the early 40s  more Pakistanis were illiterate than educated. But now more generations are becoming educated and open to the outside world, immersing in the on going modernising world. Education has risen dramatically since the independence of Pakistan in 1947, research from Sir Micheal Barber states “West Pakistan in 1947 had about 35 million people, but less than a million children were in school, and in 2016 there were almost 19 million children in primary schools, over 8 million were girls. Almost 80 times as many girls were attending school as in 1947”. The millennial generation of Pakistanis are more focused on their education and learning about the westernised world outside of Pakistan, it is much more rural places of Pakistan that have not immersed or changed into modern, westernised culture, research from  Arshia U. Zaidi and Muhammad S huraydi states“Arranged marriages by parents are slightly higher among the rural areas, and amongst the lower educated class”.

With Pakistanis moving or studying in the UK and Pakistans increase in education, slowly but surely  cultural beliefs are changing. The millennial generation are slowly changing a widespread culture and opening it up to more modernised and westernised beliefs, as well as following Islam.  According to studies by Arshia U. Zaidi and Muhammad S huraydi  “There has been a gradual transition from the traditional pattern of mate selection towards a more western oriented approach of ones own choice but with the consent from parents”.  Young Pakistanis are breaking cultural beliefs and following their religion, plummeting themselves in the diverse culture of the western world. “I think people are more relaxed now, they are thinking differently, people are getting more education, they are thinking and realising  we cannot just force our children to get marry someone” BakhatAfza - 26 “I make a joke about it because really I am not too bothered, when I find someone I find someone, that’s it” Aleena- 24. 

In 2019 there are so many changes taking place, culture is so diverse in the UK, and The culture surrounding marriage for young Pakistanis is a great example of not only an interchangeable and immersive diverse society, but also understanding the issues that Pakistanis face. Identifying with cultural roots, celebrating them but also opening ideas up to the modern society that we are living today. Each generation will face something new, but even though allot of young Pakistanis feel a tug between cultures, more families and people are learning to open themselves up to a world of cultural and diverse living in a constant modernising civilisation.